Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I wish you could order shots online.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
