i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize