I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
