Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
