People in love make me want to vomit
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
