your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
