hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
