I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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