Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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