You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
