please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
