Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
