remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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