No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
