Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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