can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
