protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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