It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
