Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
