Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
