Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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