I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
