You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Drake has all the answers
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
The Olympian is in my bed
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