You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Boobs speak an international language.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
