I hate your face
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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