it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
