I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
