His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
