Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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