I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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