is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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