when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
