she was so not down for the gang bang
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
