yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
