I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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