Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
