Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
