I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
