do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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