I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
