im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I lost the right to judge tonight
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
