I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
