So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
