i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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