I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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