Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You dont lie about slip and slides
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
