you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
