Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
