so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
