Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
