Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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