She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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