do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
