I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
