OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
