butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
