fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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