Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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