In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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