Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
