I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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