I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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